One of my best friends has gas issues. I could tell you a thousand stories, but she has only authorized this one to date. Trust me, there are better ones.
After the birth of her second child, my friend presented herself to the OBGYN for her 6 week check-up. As she laid on the little table in the exam room - waiting for the doctor in her johnny shirt, feet in stirrups - she noticed a strange rumbling in her belly. She tried to move and adjust to relieve the mounting pressure, but the gas bubble wasn't budging. At that moment, the doctor entered the exam room, and they exchanged pleasantries. My friend started praying silently that she could get through the next 5 minutes until the doctor was done and could get the hell out.
Now what I'm about to tell you is true, it's not a scene from the next "Bridesmaids."
The doctor readies to "have a look" and my friend can hold on no longer. She thought to herself, "Deborah would never let this happen to her!" and out slips a loud, stinky discharge of bodily gas right in the doctor's face.
Yep.
I asked her what went in those awkward moments following that fart - what can one really say after such an episode? She says she didn't laugh, and the doctor just ignored that it had happened at all.
Oh, to have been a fly on the wall.
'Course I'd be dead now from the stench.
Or laughter.
Or both.
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