Mice

One of my best friends was having a "mouse" issue.  She had noticed droppings around her house, and when one ran across her nightstand and knocked over a glass of water, she freaked.  She spent hours trying to figure out where these beasts were getting in.  (Now, FREAKED is likely an understatement.  My guess would be that neighbors in a 10 km radius heard her screams.)

Then she resorted to poison, but it didn't seem to do the job.  Fed up, she called an exterminator.  She was at work when he stopped out to her house, so after he finished up, he called her at work.

During the half hour conversation, he explained how he thought the critters were getting in, and that he thought there could possibly be a nest in the attic.  As anyone would, she began to get upset.  As the discussion continued, he explained that he thought traps would not work and were not humane - plus she would have to look after the "disposal".  She told him of trying to put poison out, but he didn't like that idea either, because she had two kids, a cat and a dog in the house who could accidentally get hurt.  Plus it would take a while for the poison to work, so they mice would likely eat it and make it back into her walls before they died, leaving an incredible stench while they decomposed.  In the summer.  None of this sounded encouraging.

Then he offered up an "environmentally-friendly" solution to deal with the pests:  garter snakes.  He claimed they'd find the nest, eat the mice, and then leave the house and go out into the fields around their country home once there were no mice left to feed on.

He continued then - while she was silent in horror - to explain how he'd already left several snakes in her home, and to not be alarmed when she went home and her attic access was opened.  Dumbfounded, she began to turn hysterical, screaming at the guy for going ahead and leaving live snakes in her house without her permission.  She hung up and immediately called her husband to relay the conversation, and he seemed equally pissed.

As is her nature, she could not leave her husband to deal with the situation, being that he was much more diplomatic than she.  She wanted to this guy to know how upset she was, and she knew her hubby would not relay her complete displeasure.  So, she called the Pest Control guy back, told him how upset she was (screamed and yelled), but he acted like he didn't know what she was talking about.

Now, this friend and I work together as well.  I was at lunch when this whole thing occurred.  When I returned from lunch and was walking by her desk, she was scarlet red, tears streaming down, and livid.  She told me the story and I of course, started roaring laughing.  She was not amused.

"You do realize this is a joke," I said.  "And I'll bet it's your husband up to no good!"

Turns out, her hubby had gotten one of his co-workers - who clearly is an awesome actor - to call her and play a joke on her.  Her hubby NEVER expected his buddy to go so far, OR for his wife to actually call the Pest Control guy back directly and tell him off.  In an effort to smooth things over, her hubby had to call the Pest Control guy to explain the joke, but it was lost on him after having a lunatic customer scream at him for leaving snakes in her home.

Worst of it was her hubby had purchased a fake rubber snake to plant at home to keep the farce going, but luckily for him, he decided against pushing her over the edge she was already teetering on.

Several years later, they were having another pest issue (beetles of some sort) and had to call the Pest Control guy again.  She tried her best to make on that she was a new customer, but when he met her at the house, he clearly recognized her.  She tried pretending she was sane, but even by her own admission, it was a stretch.