Kids

So, my husband and I wanted to go out on the same evening - not together.  I forget now what he had going on, but I had plans to meet some friends for supper.  So I fed the 5 and 3 year-olds and left them for the hour and a half in the care of my 16 year-old son.  (He hadn't babysat the little kids alone because my 3 year old daughter was only recently potty trained, and he was not a diaper-changer.  Which, to be honest, I didn't blame him - how weird would it be to be a teen-aged boy changing your baby sister's arse?  So, I didn't push it, but ever since she was in big-girl panties, I figured, he could help out.)

Off I went for my 1.5 hour outing for supper.  About an hour in, my cell rang.  It was my eldest.

"Mom."  Honestly, it was a statement, not a question,  "Keeley pooped."

"OH MY GOD, " says me, "In her panties???"

"No," was the reply, "in the toilet."  Then the point of this phone call was ????  Jesus, teenagers are baked.

"So, why are you calling?"

"Well...."  he paused for quite a bit.  "She is insisting that I wipe her bum."

Suddenly the scene came to me.  My daughter, when requesting a butt-wipe, would bend at the waist and touch her toes waiting for her servant to clean her up.  I let out a little giggle.

"Well, then, this is not a reason to call me.  FIGURE IT OUT."  And I hung up.  I left the restaurant shortly thereafter.

When I arrived home, I was met with the usual "MOMMY!!!!!" from my 3 year-old.  She was so happy to see me.  I looked at my teen-aged son and asked him point blank if her butt was dirty because I KNEW he would not wipe her arse.

"No...."  his voice trailed off.

My 5 year old son pipes up, "I did it, and I was paid seven dollars!!"

"WHAT?" says me.

"Yep," he says proudly, "and next time it'll be TEN!"

My teen-aged son continued to stand there, looking at me blankly.  "And I'll pay it," he said.