My eldest and I were on our own before I got married, so to keep an eye on him, I developed a few habits, one of which was that - like many moms - I left the door open when I went to the bathroom so I could hear if he was getting into anything.
One day, just as I sat down to pee, I heard a faint, terrified voice from beside me.
"Mommy..... why is there a string in your bum?"
"Um, that's not a sting," I said wondering what possible explanation would appease him. I had used "I don't know" before and was worried it might not work the second time around.
"Mommy, what is it?"
"Um, it's toilet paper."
"No, it's not," he said.
"Yes, it is, " I exclaimed, and shooed him out of the bathroom, all the while he was looking very suspicious.
Great. No wonder so men are so screwed up, and claim it's because of their mothers. Not like I did it on purpose, but damn!
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