Wax

A friend of mine started getting bikini waxes recently.  I've gone before many times, but it was just to trim the hedges.  I tried going "all the way" but it hurt like jeezly hell.  No man is worth that much pain.

So, my friend went for her second wax and we were chatting about the whole experience.  It's actually a very strange thing, lying there - panties optional - while another woman rips your pubes out from their roots.  No drugs, mood lighting or dirty talk to loosen you up either.

We were chatting about the positions you have to get in to get it all off, and giggling, when suddenly the conversation took a strange turn.  She had opted to take it ALL off.

"So," says my friend, "she was waxing, and I didn't have panties on.  I didn't bother.  And you know, it's hard to get it ALL, so she handed me a stick to hold things to the side..."

WHAT?

"You know," she continues, "so you don't touch anything."

WHAT?

"You don't do that?" she says innocently.

Now, I don't know how many of you have had bikini waxes - or Brazilians, as this one was - but there are no sticks to for you to hold.  The esthetician looks after that.

I'm shocked.  "Like, effin' CHOP STICKS???"

We both burst out laughing, and I was reminded of a Friends episode when Chandler went to Joey's tailor where he was molested while getting sized for a pair of pants.  Joey had only ever gone to this particular tailor and thought the whole process was on the up and up.  Not so, as it turns out.

"Okay," says me, "that is NOT what is supposed to happen!!"  We laughed and I swore not to tell anyone.

...


Fast forward a few weeks, and we were taking about an acquaintance who had started an esthetic business - waxing, mainly - and we were laughing because I asked if the acquaintance was Asian (and therefore may have offered chop stick therapy).  A male friend was half listening, and looking grossed out.  He was not aware of the background story.

So, I said, "Oh, now, don't be like that.  Waxing happens!  Men don't care how about the things women go through to be beautiful for you men, you just like the end result."

Pause.

"It's kinda like you don't really want to know how sausages are made."

Horrible, but effective analogy.   ;)