The Foreskin

A friend has asked me for some help finding someone to circumcise another friend's baby.  Believe it or not, it's getting more and more difficult to find a doctor to do it, and it's rarely IN the hospital, but rather in a doctor's office.  I dunno, I see the pros and cons, but ultimately, it's the mom and dad's decision.  Sorry, little guy - sometimes you have no choice.

So, I gave her the contact info for my family doctor to pass along.  Several weeks later, this friend and her hubby were with my family, touring our new house which was still under construction.  We were going from one "almost room" to the next, when it occurred to me that I hadn't heard back if the new mom and dad were happy with my family doctor's work.

"How did your friend get along with my doctor?  You know, about the circumcision?"  My friend replied that it had worked out great for her friend, and they were glad to have it over with.

My son (who was fourteen at the time) and Bonus-son (I don't like the term "step-son" - he was 16 then) were half-listening, so I inquired as to whether or not either knew what circumcision meant.

My bonus-son pipes in, "Oh yes... um... it's when they take extra skin off your pickle."

I looked at my son, "Do you know what it is?"

"Yes, I know."

"Do you know if you've been circumcised?" I was laughing.

Both boys smirked, and responded that they were.

That SHOULD have been the end of it, but my keener mathematician son thought he'd add his 2 cents worth.  He is a fountain of useless information.  Sadly, something like myself.

"You know, Mom, they take the extra and make face cream out of it."

There was stunned silence in the basement where we were all standing, including my two married friends who were on the house tour with us.  

"They take the extra WHAT?"  I was starting to giggle, as we all stood there, watching for his reaction.  He didn't flinch.

"They take the extra skin and make face cream.  I saw it on the Discovery Channel."

The four adults (being my hubby and I, and my friend and her hubby) all started roaring!!

"Yeah, that's it, there's a big VAT they throw the teeny pieces of skin in to whip up some moisturizer!  MUAAHHHAHAHAHAH!!"  We went on for a bit, but my son did not change his story.  I started to get a little aggravated.

"Look," I said, not laughing anymore, "I know you think this is funny, but give it up.   You didn't actually see this anywhere."

"Yes, I did, Mom."

Jesus C.  

"You did not!!"

"Yes, I did."

"For God's sake, give it up, would ya?"

He did not.

Then I forgot about it.  For quite a while, until one night I was home on the computer and I thought of looking on Snopes.com (the Urban Legend Website) or another to prove to the little shit he was wrong.

Unfortunately, I found nothing on Snopes, but I did find this....

http://www.plasmetic.com/skin/skin-care-cosmetics/foreskin-face-cream-from-skinmedica-promoted-by-oprah-winfrey.html

JEHOVAH.

I forwarded the link to my friend, and printed off a copy for my son.  He met me with a smirk that said, "I told you so."

Effin' little arse.  

Sigh.

I don't know if I was more disturbed by the fact that he knew about this or that you can make $100,000 per foreskin.   

I wonder does that link have contact info?  For a friend, of course.